“‘What’ and ‘If’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?” -Letters To Juliet
Recently I’ve this new sensation to constantly ask myself the ‘What if?’ question. It starts out with the easy, non-consequential questions but I always end up find myself pondering deep unexplainable questions. The progression goes from “What if I had an apple instead of an orange this morning?” or “What if I had spent one extra minute in the shower?” to questions like “What if my parents were different people?” or “What if I hadn’t met my best friend?”
My life would be completely different to the one that I know if even a second of my life had been spent doing something other than what I was doing. For instance, if my mom hadn’t asked me if I was interested in coming to Miss Hall’s School, I wouldn’t have had this amazing experience. If she had asked me a day later or a day earlier I might have felt differently about it and just turned down the offer. Each second of every day add up to the worth of our life. Even the small choices like what you eat for dinner can effect your whole life.
While I ask myself these questions I also ponder with the idea that I haven’t lived life to the fullest. I haven’t taken every opportunity I could have and to be honest, sometimes I regret that. But in the end, I am pretty content with where I am in life. I have the next few years of my life somewhat planned out and I am okay with those plans changing. I guess I should say that I know where I want to go in life and I know how to get there, but it doesn’t mean that I have every step of the process figured out yet. As I grow up and start to realize all of the opportunities and experiences I have missed I start making an oath to myself that I will venture out of my comfort zone and try new things more than I have ever done before in my life.
I have come to a point in my life where I know who is important and who I want to stay by my side. They range from people I have known practically my whole life to people that I have met a year, even six months ago. Its hard to imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t met some of these people, like my best friend for example. I’m sure I would be managing in life without him but now that he is in my life, I couldn’t ever imagine letting him go. Same with my family. I would have no clue how different my life would be if they were any different from who they are and I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Once we have something, its hard to imagine what our life was like before them and we often dramatize that our lives before we met them were boring and dull but to be honest they weren’t. I’ve always had an amazing life but adding certain people into in definitely made it that much better.
All in all, my life has been pretty great. I’ve come to realize that I’m not the only one in the world who constantly ponders those “what if” questions. As I grow older, the number of those questions only increases, but I try to stop myself when I start thinking in “what if” terms. Life is the way it is and nothing can change what has happened in the past. We can only move forward and learn from our mistakes and appreciate the mistakes that turned into successes. Everything happens for a reason.
So, as I should probably get back to my homework, I will stop this philosophical debate with myself and just post this already. In the word of Louis Cole:
“Peace out, enjoy life, and live the adventure.”